What About Me? Searching Outside Myself

April 26, 2015

woman typing on keyboardMy entire life seems to revolve around my career.

Vacations are planned around conferences. Movies and dinners are delayed because I'm not done working yet. Calendars are filled almost entirely with writing or teaching related events and deadlines. Podcasts and writing workshops fill the space between my ears when walking, driving, or doing laundry.

And there, with strangers giving me advice on how to be more successful, I hear again that I need to get more involved with “other” communities, online or in person, and talk about something else. Because people want to get to know you as a person, not as a writer trying to sell them a book. Not as a real estate agent trying to sell them a house. Not as an Internet marketer trying to sell them “the next thing.”

And it finally occurred to me…what do I like to talk about besides writing and stories? Movies? (Those are stories.) Books? (Those are stories, even the nonfiction ones to some degree.) The practical effects of a life based on faith in Jesus Christ? (We kind of talk about that in Bible study and church.)

Have I forgotten what interests me outside of writing?

After a little thinking, I realize the answer is no. But in the struggle the last few years to just keep up with bills (and sometimes fall under that weight), a lot of what I do is less and less for love and more to just keep our heads above the water line.

And that's not horrible.

But it is something to be aware of. Much as I wish I had time to get back to playing guitar and piano, that's going to have to continue to wait a bit longer. Much as I enjoyed spending a couple hours a month building scrapbooks with friends, that is not in the cards right now. I'm trying to get back into running, but that isn't a topic for extended and interesting conversations – you are running or you aren't.

What about you? Have you gotten ensnared by your day-to-day responsibilities to the point where you don't remember when was the last time you talked about something really interesting? If you've been able to keep up with a forum or blog on something you're really interested in – that doesn't revolve around your career – let me know. Every Facebook group I'm a part of has to do with my career. I don't even know anymore how to find places to go online to chat with like-minded people about things that interest me that have nothing to do with writing or teaching.

But I'd like to find a couple places. Much as I love superheroes, I am woefully ignorant about the broad universe of comic books. Is there a good place people are chatting about it where I won't be outcast as a newb? (This is pressing entirely too close to being about my career, but I really am interested in learning more because it's cool.)

Is there a place where people are talking about Christian theology and philosophy in an interesting way that hits on ways to make it practical?

Question mark imageIf you've talked to me about topics that I seem to have found interesting, let me know! I seem to be hitting a wall when it comes to remembering what I'm interested in enough to chat with strangers about it.

And if you've started to notice this about yourself as well, that you are so engrossed in daily life that you don't even remember what else you're interested in, let me know in the comments what you're going to do about it.

I don't have a lot of time to spend outside of working and the things I already do. (My first priority after work is hanging out with John, which is where all the TV and movie watching comes in. 🙂 ) But maybe I do need to add a little more balance to my life. I have no idea where I'm going to find the time, but it seems like I need to at least try.


P.S. Let me know if you've enjoyed these “Sunday Devotionals” the last few weeks. I'm trying something new on my blog – writing every Sunday about things that interest me from a spiritual growth standpoint. 🙂


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  1. I use to be there, back then my life evolving around the kids, work-setting apts, filling no-shows, bringing cash home and in hand to hand to Jessie. At that point in time I was not allowed to do the things I really wanted to or was interested in doing because I was treading water with the bills, being a financially productive part of our family unit and a constant ogar as far as Heather was concerned. Girls night out went out the door,I was no longer allowed to participate in our martial arts classes twice a week because someone had to watch the children because the other parental unit was teaching the class.So I went to school to better my therapy skills and make something better of myself, graduated and 3 weeks later was in a car accident that took the next 6 to 8 years to recover because we could not afford physical therapy. After the separation rebuilding my life was one mistake & heatbreak after the other not to mention my kids growing up with out me being directly in their everyday lives-just was killing me. Finally get a good job making great money, found out about the tumor…became a liability to my company and was forced to leave and became homeless for the better part of three years fighting for my life while the tumor grew and grew till I couldn’t hold my water, run to safety or sneeze without my knees collapsing to the ground from the sever pain and pissing all over myself….then they found the second tumor, and still they let them grow and still I kept fighting for my life with the doctors and my boyfriend. All through that I was so mad at myself for not getting into the tribal fusion belly dancing competitions that I had started to get into before I left Tempe, that I never got back to that guy who wanted to put my art pieces in his gallery /consignment gallery, that I should have used this time to get back in school and go for the solar engineering degree I had been contemplating since before the tumors when my massage partitioning took a nose dive along with our economy, and how much I really enjoyed demolitions and housing refurbishing- I use to be very skilled in that area.
    So back to the now. I am helping some friends get their property in order and help get their machine shop and sewing room together .Knocking down walls pouring concrete….oh and I have finished art pieces that I have taken pictures of and as soon as I am not babysitting my grandbabies while their father is incarcerated, I will be taking those pictures to that guy with the consignment gallery ; right around the corner from where I live, and share them in hopes he will like them and or think they are the kind of art for his gallery. Still have no vehicle to get around or a license to operate said vehicle, but I am making a difference for room and board, I get to sometimes even work with Ray at his jobsites, still don’t get to spend the time I want to with my kids especially Jessdyn but I am working on that, but am talking with both more than I have been able to in quite awhile. I did manage to get Jessdyn a new sewing machine he wants and lights for his work shop and a professional to install them, still have to discus how Jessie wants to proceed with the project. I have started my strength training so I can approach belly/tribal dancing with out crippling myself…I know the challenge will be to be consistent and not over do it ,lol. I have quit smoking cigarettes but currently still doing the digital cigarette. I have started singing again….Oh and I am even playing guitar; learning again, and I found my flow and am drumming again .We have a music/ band room when we finally become a real band . I can’t wait till I call up Wilgar and drum for him ( learning rudiments screwed up my flow completely so he has never herd me get on it- so to speak). There are still a number of things I want to try in my life, and now I have the time to do so, kinda.
    Every second from the time my surgery was actually happening and the suture’s in place and the tumors gone, every second has been nothing less than a gift . I have no idea what will happen from here on out , but I am not afraid anymore, my kids love me and I am happy. I am so grateful to the all the divine to bless me with as much. LOL I do know that I am an unofficial Guinness book of records holder as the biggest uterus removed til mine was 3900 grams something like 7.1lbs and my uterus was 8.4lbs. when they removed it…..two huge tumors…oh and the consolation gift is pretty awesome too…..no more periods and because they left my fallopian tubes I still have time before I go through the madness of the big change (wink).
    I know all this has not answered your question .Kitty my love you just pick one thing you have wanted to do and do it, don’t sweat all the other things you would like, just start with that one thing. I think that one thing is just finding time to stop and breathe and enjoy the still and calm and close your mind off of work and treading water and all the anxiety that comes along with it…..to just be and relax. But then again they say if you love the work you do, then its not really work. So if that is the case, do what you love. But I think everyone would add years to their lives by finding that quiet quality time with themselves practicing proper breathing , oh and stretching and remembering to drink more water-I guarantee the benefits will both amaze as well as add years to a life no matter how tattered or worn their past has been on them….that is my official professional opinion.
    I am so proud of both you and Jon, you both have been very inspiring and I love and miss you so very much. I can not wait to hug you again my very dear friend. Be blessed, be well and know that my world is so much brighter with you guys in it…..where ever are or happen to be. Love you.
    Devoted Fan & Mother Of Your God Children,

    ‘Healing begins within a single conscious thought.”
    Jammie Alexsndra Sobley

    1. Jammie!! How great to hear from you! I’m so glad you are healthier now and doing so much better! I think of you and pray for you a lot. 🙂 Your comment will inspire others to keep on going and find that life gets better. 🙂 Love you lots! Great to hear from you!


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